that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
