are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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