the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
