why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
