I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
