hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
