you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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