shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
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