Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
