I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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