sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
