I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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