Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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