i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
