i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize