His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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