It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
