Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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