I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize