So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
