You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
