i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
