Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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