Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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