so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
