i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
