bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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