im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Someone shattered a urinal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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