idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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