Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I believe in your delicious
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
