just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
