let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
