My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
