Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize