I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
