Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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