it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
