I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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