STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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