What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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