I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
why is half of my head shaved?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
