it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she told me i tasted like america
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
