Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
