it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
