He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
