thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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