I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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