he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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