my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
