stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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