I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
