i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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