Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
