The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize