very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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