Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize