You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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