so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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