Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
