I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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