So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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