I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
